I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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