Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
