I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Randomize
