Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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