I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
