The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Randomize
