Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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