walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize