when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize