"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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