I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
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