i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
