that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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