Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Randomize
