Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Randomize
