Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
She needs sedatives and a leash
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
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