i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Randomize
