Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
