I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
