i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Randomize
