walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Randomize
