just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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