Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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