Plan B is the new Plan A
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
