Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
