So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
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