she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
