Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Randomize
