Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
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