he wants to bone in the snuggie
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Randomize
