I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
How external is "for external use only"?
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
