Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
