If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
