The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
