No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
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