it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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