Welp...herpes.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Randomize