She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
i came on her dog
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
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