I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
