last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
