we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Randomize
