yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I have feelings that need drinking.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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