She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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