the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Randomize
