if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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