Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
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