I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
