i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
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