I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
you are never too drunk for berry picking
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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