no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Randomize
