well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
