thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
