Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
