In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
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