singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
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