DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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