fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize
